On Aging, Section D. Ken’s Influencing Factors/Personal Approach; Section E, Wrap-up

D. Ken’s influencing factors/personal approach

It would have been great to have done the research and written this blog 60 years ago, but while a good portion of the science had not been developed, much of the philosophy was around. Entering my 80s it’s hard to ignore the realities of growing old. I have some personal activities, first of all following (mostly) the advice described in Section A. Science of aging, including health determinants.

I don’t think I have changed dramatically since my life was formed in my early years. Reading Barak Obama’s recent book a quote jumped out at me from his grandmother (to him). ”The crazy thing about getting old is that you’re the same person inside. You’re trapped in this doggone contraption that starts falling apart. But it’s still you. You understand.”

Occasionally a reminder is necessary regarding my good fortune to have made it this far: When I look back some examples emerge, some silly, some lucky, some just living: walking on narrow beams under the Mount Pleasant bridge; surviving ten years on my Honda motorbike all around BC and Toronto; not wearing a seat belt for the first 20 years of my driving life; high steel work on narrow girders one summer without any safety harness; not wearing life jackets when paddling all those early canoe trips; drinking and driving; car accidents (one where the police visiting me in the hospital suggested I examine the remains of my mother’s Hillman to realize how fortunate I was to survive); wild rides down some challenging rivers through some dandy rapids; hitchhiking across Canada (and surviving some dicey situations); travelling in remote corners of the world in some problematic spots; climbs up peaks, dives off tall places and deep water scuba, some at night (with equipment malfunctions resolved just in time); diseases of the heart and cancers of the body nipped by clever doctors and medicines.

As humorist Garrison Keeler said in one of his articles, these “close calls…narrowly averted that would’ve obliged my friends to speak at the memorial service about my promising career tragically cut short and instead of that we meet for lunch and talk about hearing loss and ocular degeneration.”

My background and lifestyle was fortunate: I lived in a family with a caring mother who stayed at home and provided healthy meals (albeit skewed towards meat). My father was generous, wise, and a role model. I was fortunate in having three bright, fun-loving sisters all close in age. Then I was off to the institutions of Ridley and camp where dieticians determined my intake, with pop and junk food rare. All during my life, exercise has been part of my DNA, and of course not smoking. Certainly a lot occurred in the schooling system, but subsequently with squash 3 to 5 days a week, tennis, rugby, jogging, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, and gym memberships wherever I lived. Through my first wife Ann, and now Penny, I eat a healthy diet. Even my business travels included reasonably good food, and despite the image of boozing, not a lot of alcohol (except my travels in South America).

Like many of my age, I was not connected with all of my grandparents: The stats tell it all: nearly 25% of 19th century children had lost at least one parent. In the early decades of the 20th century, children had less than a 40% chance of having two living grandparents. My father’s dad, a heavy smoker, died before I was born, age 72; dad’s mother lived in England and I only met her for one summer when I was eight. My mother’s parents were quite a force and lived close by, but my grandmother died when I was 12 aged 62; my grandfather, also a heavy smoker, died age 75. In the current era, a majority of first-world children have four living grandparents.

One of my favourite photos is my mother, age 97, holding Ayden, my son’s son – her great grandchild – that’s an unusual four generation spread.

As I look around, there are more and more of those I know dropping off the radar: I’ve been the keeper of the records for my Ridley class and the numbers dying are eerily following actuarial precision: of a class of around 70-75 guys, 32 have passed away. Two good friends of mine died early on in the COVID-19 pandemic. My first wife, Ann, died just before she turned 60; my middle sister, Wendy, died when 56. The litany of serious illnesses, afflictions and general etiolation of those remaining is intimidating: strokes, cancers, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, Non-Hodgkins’s Lymphoma, alcoholism, heart parts replaced, etc; never mind the new knees, hips, ankles, back surgeries. 

As I age, diminished mobility restricts some things Penny and I used to do together: The main example is skiing. We met on the ski slopes and a lot of our early connections were following each other around the mountains. Cycling is another one, although with my electric bike and the pedal shortened on the crank, I can turn the wheel with my limited-bend right knee which has had three separate titanium specials. Canoe trips and kayaking are possible but some ingenuity, and humour, is required getting in and out of the craft. Hiking is dandy, but now on terrain that’s not too steep. I’m trying to encourage Penny to be interested in curling and golf; keep tuned.

How one’s values shift over time (I’m trying to be flexible; is this wisdom?): On most of my values I am a set piece, although remaining determined to be flexible! For example, I once was an Ayn Rand advocate of rejecting collectivist values in favour of individual self interest, but the older I get the more inclined I am to recognize the value of sound public policy and civil order. I acknowledge the important role governments play in expanding opportunity, fostering competition and fair dealing, and making sure the marketplace works for everyone. As societies grow more complex, more and more of the function of government takes the form of a sort of “social insurance”, with each of us contributing through our tax dollars to protect ourselves collectively – for disaster relief if our house was destroyed in a flood; social security and medical care to lesson the challenges of old age, etc. The concept of “freedom” that is gratuitously been thrown about quite a bit lately, needs to be disentangled from it being a cudgel to erode democracy and civil rights. I’ll leave the discussion of my full value system to evening chats with a nice glass of wine, and the few that are inclined to participate.

After 50 “we become invisible”; I’m resisting that: There is an inclination for the elderly to be ignored or discounted for either lack of relevance or current knowledge. I’m attempting to stay current in things technical, political or cultural. I seek involvement and communication. 

Further, it’s difficult for youth to perceive an old body doing young things. It is a common observation of seniors that the young do not realize (or cannot imagine) the achievements of the old. I illustrate this with two personal stories. As a young man my father played rugby, cricket, fenced, sailed and ran; it was hard to keep up with his walking pace. But at age 52 he became disabled as a result of polio. Those who knew him from that point on could not see or ever ever imagine his active prior life. 

The second story relates to myself. I had conversations on our cottage dock during the 2021 Olympics. The first was around the 10 metre platform diving. “I could never go off that tower, or even climb up there”, one mentioned with a sense of awe. So, I thought “should I mention that I worked out on the 10 metre tower at the British Empire Games pool in Vancouver in the summer of 1960?” 

When the gymnastics events were discussed, I decided to put a photo of me on my cell phone taken by the St Catharines Standard when I won the top gymnast award at my school. I was doing a one arm hand stand on the parallel bars. “Is that really you?” was the astonished response. There was quite a disconnect between the desiccated gimpy guy sitting on a deck chair and the young buck in the gym outfit photo. (This represents also the dynamic that exists in us all, between being proud of ones accomplishments and perhaps bragging about them, however ordinary in the scheme of things, and being modest and staying quiet.)

I accept the age markers of years travelled: My body has deteriorating signs that I’ve earned, so I’m proud of my grey hair and lines. I was sent a clever video the other day showing how various famous people look now, and then progressively back through the years to their youth (those old pictures of past heydays, as I just mentioned, are great fun). In the background was a ballad playing with some relevant lyrics: “And if they found a fountain of youth, I wouldn’t drink a drop and that’s the truth, The older I get, The better I am, At knowing when to give, And when to just not give a damn.” My sentiments.

As we age we realize we won’t be part of the future that’s been part of our present: One perhaps poignant reality of aging is the gradual realization that I won’t be around to watch or be part of some very interesting, perhaps even profound, events. The first one is watching, and being part of, the lives of my offspring (and those of Penny) – our children and grandchildren, and the quite tantalizing future beyond them. The second reality includes the accumulated outcomes of the probably quite astonishing scientific, political, environmental, cultural events and challenges facing the world, and the universe. From the fortunes of democracy, to space exploration, to health care, to digital innovations, and on and on, the world is constantly evolving. My list of the challenges I think might be significant can be found in Attachment #2: Potential Future Events of Significance. https://powellponderings.com/on-aging-attachments-1-5/

Seniors have done a lot and seen a lot; well, I think I have over the years! Certainly my life has been a full one by whatever measure one might use: people met, interests pursued, jobs performed, travel taken, and knowledge gained. As Márquez wrote “No matter what, nobody can take away the dance you’ve already had.” 

There is a joke on the Internet that goes “I’m tired of being part of a major historical event.” While I wasn’t around when electricity was invented (or the wheel) I have been around when some significant events occurred. For fun I’ve picked a few random political, cultural, environmental, scientific, medical events to illustrate by year (and we all have our own lists and how these events affected and influenced us). They are listed in Attachment #3: Major Historical Events in My Lifetime. https://powellponderings.com/on-aging-attachments-1-5/ I think it makes for a fascinating scan.

Choosing activities and projects to pursue in the final chapter of ones life: In my case I have fifteen:

1. Family: prime for me is continuing a hearty involvement with my family. Penny being number one, so keeping that connection loving and healthy. A great joy I have is being close to and involved with my two sons, Brendan and Dylan and their wives, plus of course my two grandchildren. An amazing bonus is the connection and relationship I have with Penny’s three children and the resulting six grandchildren. One significant theme for living a healthy and perhaps long life is for Penny and me to see what our offspring and their offspring do with their lives. My sisters and their families are part of that close mix.
2. Old Friends: I’ve been in a “friendship-enjoying” stage for some period of time as connecting with my good friends is a very high priority. They come from many different areas and remaining involved provides social and intellectual stimulation. Penny and I both have our personal connections, but we also share and cultivate common friendships.
3. Accepting new friends:  while #2 dominates, I’m receptive to meeting new faces, from a wide age bracket and set of interests. 
4. Attitude; values: life is joyful and quite irresistible, so I just live it. It’s possibly more joyful when you’re aware that it’s finite, because you’ve got to make the most of it while you’ve got it. And change: the essence of life might very well be change. The really good things in life will happen if you just show up and share your enthusiasms with people. It can be mutually contagious. Life’s purpose may be as simple as “to live”. And probably to live very much in the moment – and with some vigour. Dylan Thomas wrote to his dying father, “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” It is my intention to continue to rage. 
5. Giving back: is one of the themes of a long life, and in many ways this has defined my journey from my mid fifties after I left the shadowboxing of striving careerism. Plato said “Virtue was sufficient of herself for happiness,” We do, in fact, help ourselves by helping others. My life has been busy with many causes and organizations. I have been on countless boards or committees of not-for-profit organizations and the like, most since I left the working world, plus have taken leadership roles in many of them. In Peterborough I have chaired the boards of three organizations: The Peterborough Regional Health Centre, the Canadian Canoe Museum, and a small one called the Spark Photo Festival.
6. Learning: every time I write a blog, I’m learning a great deal; I think that’s one of the main reasons I write. Reading is a big part of my life, what with my men’s book club and all the other possibilities available. It provides the context for challenging old ideas with new ones – plus it’s pleasurable. New software for organization and manipulation of my photographs is a constant. Taking courses on line with my sons, plus another group with my sister Susie, keeps me challenged. I was engaged in learning the cello for 6 or 7 years when I was 70; quite delightful and a modest success. 
7. Writing: my blog; perhaps with some other things on the horizon. Then there was writing my autobiography, which I have done. My motive: I had always wished some relative back in the 17 or 18th century had done this, describing their day to day life, their philosophy, their stories, and the people in the family. My intent thus was to provide that to my future generation. As the author Richard Wagamese said “It’s all we are in the end. Our stories.” I might do a supplement on my activities and thoughts from the past 10 years
8. Exercise and movement: I’m trying to stay physically active. This means trying to walk regularly and anywhere, and this is something Penny and I can do together, along also with biking. The summer brings two important things; first what the literature recommends, which is spending time in nature, both at the house preparing our garden, and then the five months we have by the water and immersed in trees at the cottage, and up and down the steep hill to the lake. I love that. The second is the focal point the cottage becomes for family. Then playing golf twice a week and walking nine of the holes.  My winter options are my Y membership: in the pool (aqua-fit with the ladies!) and follow a work-out program. Plus I took up curling. 
9. Photography: I will continue with my prime hobby. This means shooting really anywhere and everything. It also means organizing, manipulating and using the photos I have, and of course, digitizing them, making more books, and preparing a complete index of what is in the system and where to find it. I am also working with a consultant on how my family can navigate the hard drives full of photos.
10. Eating: continuing my current reasonable healthy eating habits (little meat; lots of fish), while further moving off sugars (pop, cookies – well not really), hydrating more and eating less volume.
11. Sleep: I have changed my sleep habits significantly. I am now targeting for at least seven hours per night (vs the 3 to 5 I’ve been accustomed to). I’m having difficulty leaving the screen before sleep, though.
12. Downsize the collections of a pack rat. Be they files, clothes, or doodads! Although I do crave comfort from my things, I still want to lighten my load – and the load of those who will have to deal with the stuff after I’ve turned to dust. So sell it, give it away, throw it out. I’m in a subtraction mode!
13. Keep: I want to add little to my possessions, and more to my experiences. I will retain certain memorabilia that provides me joy in reflecting on the stories in my life. My collection of 200+ masks from around the world classifies as such. My books do too; they are old friends.
14. Travel: I will continue to wander the world as long as I can. Philosopher Emily Thomas tells us that travel is essentially an “encounter with the unknown” and that it offers “an immediate sense of things we have never experienced.” Through these new experiences, I am forced to expand and rethink what I know – and I love that. 
15. Bucket list idea: re the typical “bucket” list of things to do during ones life, my approach is not to get into checking off lists but just to do what I’ve always done naturally – travel, read, write, photograph, engage, live and love. My life has been my bucket list.

I’ll wrap up with the words of Toby Keith, the country and western singer. After playing golf with Clint Eastwood when Clint was aged 88, he asks him “What keeps you going?” Eastwood’s reply triggered Keith writing a song, and here are two verses:

“I know all my life

that some day it would end.

Get up and go outside,

Don’t let the old man in.

Try to love on your wife

And stay close to your friends.

Toast each sundown with wine.

Don’t let the old man in.”

E. Wrap-up

Broad themes from this analysis: This blog is an attempt at assembling some facts and trends and trying to make some sense of them, and then through this synthesis sorting out some broad themes.

Re the science of aging and suggested actions:

• There’s a lot of serendipity in the aging process (genes inherited; personality; country of birth/brought up in; all the social determinants of health; luck, and on and on)
• Having said that, most humans have a lot of control over the important aging determinants: diet, sleep, exercise, socializing and learning habits and having purpose (purpose is protective)
• Our brains and our bodies are one integrated system, communicating back and forth
• Love and humour play a role in the aging equation; so does the environment and well designed urban spaces
• Mixing generations has benefitS
• Aging is resulting in design adaptation to accommodate the process; a huge industry has developed to both monetize and celebrate the senior sector. There is a large commercial side in disguising or inhibiting aging in today’s society
• Examples exist, with individuals and with countries, of healthy aging and age-friendly systems
• Dealing with dementia is, and will be, one of our most important medical, and social issues facing society.  No one can know at any point whether he or she will still have a functioning brain in old age 

Re philosophical and historical aspects of aging;

• Attitudes towards old people have evolved significantly over time
• Old age is a critical women’s issues; females are the survivors 
• Aging can bring knowledge and experience, wisdom, positivity and purpose 
• Seniors make a significant contribution now to the richness of Canadian life and to the economy
• We should fear ageism, not aging; seniors need to be seen as active and valuable societal contributors; aging needs to be redefined and venerated
• Growing old is an art that can bring rewards 
• Sharing the aging journey unites those on the same path
• There are poignant aging markers, especially the obits
• The talk of “vanquishing” old age has to be countered with realism; living longer is great; dying longer is not so good
• Focussing on selected priorities in the final chapter gives focus and meaning
• The fear of aging is more than fear of decrepitude; ultimately it is the fear of death; the search for a decent death is a complex equation; our death-denying culture makes things more challenging 
• One central focus of religion is dealing in and with death, The presence or absence of either spirituality or religious adherence has little association with successful aging
• How we view death varies across cultures

Re political and public policy considerations:

• Canada, and the world, is aging rapidly, and there are consequences. First world population growth is below replacement; this is coupled with longer lifespans
• The largest age cohort, the Baby Boomers, will strain the health care and pension systems
• Canada’s immigration strategies are one lever for rejuvenating our aging workforce
• Our medical system is under pressure from a rapidly aging and increasing population; also, there aren’t enough geriatricians
• Not everyone gets to die where they wish
• Aging at home as long as possible is sought by seniors but Canada underinvests in home care
• Eldercare in Canada is needs serious reform particularly in long-term care homes
• Political consequences of societal aging include financing the resources needed 
• While Canada’s old-age pension system is an accepted aspect of post-work life, the systems are under significant pressure
• Canada needs a national plan to support our aging population

Regarding the objectives I set at the start, I do intend that this blog might be useful in accomplishing the first one regarding healthy living strategies. Secondly, on the reality of aging, everyone will. A combination of serendipity, genes and lifestyle will determine whether it is joyful; we know also there will be challenges. As to my third objective, the reality of the feds and provinces getting together on a national strategy is possible, but it needs leadership, and that I currently can’t spot. When examining the demographics, there should be a ton of self interest.